Family

                Paulynn Annette is my mother’s name, the person I chose to interview. My mother was born and raised here in southern California. Later in life she moved up to northern California, but ended back here. My mother was raised by both parents, who are deaf. This makes my mother’s cultural background very interesting. She grew up in a more old fashion way. Her parents didn’t really belong to the deaf community and they were raised at the time where handicap was an embarrassment and hidden from the world. Therefore my grandparents never developed past what they were taught when they were younger. This pasted down to my mother, who raised her first children with old fashion beliefs. When she had her other son 15 years later she evolved to the southern California culture.

                My mother was very happy that I was coming over to hang out and work on homework. It took a while to get down to work because she wanted to chat, this set for a good mood, but when we got down to it and I explained the homework assignment she sighed. I knew that this was not going to be a fun topic to discuss since we do not talk about family, or to family for that matter. I briefly told her the rules, that I needed a family member that I talk to, that gives me maybe 5 family members. Then they have to be older, down to 2. They shouldn’t be siblings, that leaves my mother. She sighed deeply again. Knowing the awkward emotional issues that might come up, I shut off my emotions and turned into a robot like I always do when things get emotional. I think that this helped me to think more like an anthologist. I was able to keep an unbiased opinion, keep my personal thoughts, memories, out of the interview.  However, I was mostly uncomfortable throughout this interview. This is a highly taboo topic, not only because my mother doesn’t get along with most of her family, but also my mother and I really don’t get along either. I know I could have asked to have an alternate assignment but I really wanted to take this opportunity to learn about my family, at least on my mother’s side, and that is what I got. Plus it opened the door to many more conversations and my mother working on our family tree together. Even though I know my mother felt awkward and I was uncomfortable, over the years I have been able to hide it and I think we were able to get the best out of the interview. I do think that interviewing someone not in my family, without history, and without emotional connections, it would be a lot easier to interview as an anthropologist. I believe that it is the emotional connection is what makes it nearly impossible to have an unbiased opinion.

                My family is not close at all. I do not talk to any of my grandparents, great grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and even siblings. My family has taught me that you look out for yourself. Once you leave the home, it is your life and yours alone until you start your own family. There some exceptions, my mother is really close to her only sister. Other than that, there is little to no connection to our family. Reading on the family structures that exist was amazing and a little sad at the same time. I admire the different family structures, but I like my small individualistic family structure. There really is not an attitude difference between older and younger members of my family, the different is between genders. The females are expected to cook, clean, and take care of the men, while the men do whatever they want. It started with my great grandmother because that is how she was taught and it was passed down throughout the years, surprisingly through the females in the family. I have to admit being a part of the female sex in my family, I hate the sexism that goes on in my family and I am surprised that the females are the ones carrying on this behavior.

                I do not communicate or know my family members on either side, but my I am more familiar with my mother’s side as I do not talk to my father. I talk to my mother’s side of the family more because they are there and I talk to my mother more than my father. On my mother’s side her and her brother are the ones that call the shots. Her brother Ron is the oldest out of the 6 children my grandparents had. My mother is the 3^rd oldest but the oldest female. Whatever they decide goes, at least that is what I have seen through the one year I have attended the family reunion. Not only are they the oldest, but they have made the most for themselves. They are the two most independent, helping people. The other brothers and sisters are always in need of their assistance. All spouses brought into the family seem to be treated as outsiders. The original family is nice to them to their face and rag on them behind their back. No matter how long the marriage lasts they will always be an outsider never fully accepted. Honestly, I was hoping to learn a lot more than what I did learn. Most of this I have known for quite some time. The only fun part that I learned was that most of my great great grandparents are from Ireland, Czechoslovakia, Hungary, and Spain.